I’ve always seen myself as “the strong one.” Everyone else can show emotion, but I don’t want to seem weak if I do. I’ll listen to you talk about your problems while I struggle to process mine. I’m comfortable keeping my feelings bottled up inside until I eventually implode. If I had a motto, it would probably be, “I can figure this out on my own.”
I’d never thought any of this was a problem (lol news flash, Abby), that is, until I realized I was applying these same habits to my relationship with God. I wasn’t allowing Him to have all of my heart, and I sure wasn’t telling Him all that was on it.
“Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you;
therefore He will rise up to show you compassion.
For the Lord is a God of justice.
Blessed are all who wait for Him!
People of Zion, who live in Jerusalem, you will weep no more. How gracious He will be when you cry for help! As soon as He hears, He will answer you.” // Isaiah 30:18-19 NIV
Wow, this hit me right in the heart. This passage of scripture contains simple promises of God’s character and a call to action for us. He has never-ending grace upon grace for us, especially when we confide in Him. There is no emotion, feeling, problem, or question unknown to our God. He never condemns us for how we’re feeling, but He does long for us to tell Him! What is so beautiful about our God is that He hears our cries and is always ready to fight for us, so why not let Him? Let Him listen. Let Him show you compassion. Let Him be your peace and strength. Let Him have your heart, soul, and mind. Let Him work all things for good.
When you get to UA, you may feel like you are left to figure out this whole ‘new school, new life’ thing on your own. You may feel like you need to put on the façade that everything’s fine. But let me tell you- you’re building those walls up for yourself, and the Lord is waiting patiently to break them down. He is always ready to take your hand and walk with you. You just need to let Him in!
And to be honest with you, this won’t happen overnight. But as you continue to seek God’s heart, He will soften yours.
“Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you…” // James 4:8 ESV
You are loved and fully known by a God who cares about you, listens to you, and longs to see you live in freedom with Him!
I can’t wait to meet y’all in the fall!
Here are a few worship songs that help me to open my heart and rejoice in God’s heart to hear from us:
“Run to the Father” by Cody Carnes
“Safe” by Victory Worship
“Mercy Seat” by Maranatha Worship
“Out of Hiding” by Steffany Gretzinger
“In Control” by Hillsong Worship
Abby Freeman
Junior
Killeen, TX
Click here to listen to a playlist of Abby's recommendations on Spotify!